A little background before we go
Being black in Astana is purely gold
My first Uber experience was a 'no show'
Not on their part and neither on mine
I went round the block triple times
Chasing him down, tracking him down
I didn't understand the Russian instruction
Nor the place set as the 'site for extraction'
A Google Translate call ended on a terse laugh
He went up in smoke before I could say Jack
I bit my lip and ordered another
Managed to find the point, then sunk into the leather
I had one! My euphoria abounded
'Mega Silkway', destination bound
Now being a pro in all things Uber
I proceeded to then observe the drivers
The first assured me no seatbelt needed
Then proceeded to accelerate like Formula1 just landed
I held on tight with all my might
And prayed real hard for divine respite
He seemed calm as he took the tight corners
Weaving through cars with defiant manners
'Oh Lord, not here' I glanced above
'If my time has come, please not here'
Visions flashed of entrails spilt on the road
Far, far away from family and home.
The next one grinned as I entered his car
'Me Akmetzhan, you name what?'
He checked his phone as he pulled into the traffic
Sent a frantic message, then read another
Waiting at the lights, he decided on 'Selfie?'
He simply must prove, I had sat in his car
I nodded and moved closer to his seat
Who am I to refuse his gentle demand?
Posed with him before the lights changed
He checked, shook his head, then said 'Another!'
Snap! went the camera at the next set of lights
This was more acceptable so my job here was done.
Then I met the DJ driver
Who felt it his duty to give me good sound
He mixed and spinned while driving at top speed
Alas, I could not appreciate his well-intentioned efforts
My thoughts were stuck at the ending of this journey
And if I would arrive at all in a single piece.
'You from where?', he next enquired
'Switzerland' said I with a friendly smile
'Wooh, Claaass!' he replied with a giant nod
I'd heard this so much it had lost its charm
Apparently, everyone wants to go to Svizzera!
Where chocolate is for breakfast and watches abound.
'Hellooo, hooow you doing?' this one was surely high
But perhaps he spoke English, so jumped into the back
He nodded and smiled, with no care in sight
He stopped at the site where two roads collide
He pointed to each direction and looked at me enquiring
'Where? Where?' with flailing arms
That's when I realised I had been had
Uber knows my destination, no need to ask
I sighed and resigned myself to fate
Showed him my address, dared not ask about fare
He laughed wierdly and again 'Hellooo, hooow you doing?'
I held my head and hoped for the best
Surely, I will survive this Uber fest!← All writing & reflections